'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
