how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
