she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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