This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize