Swine flu. Run for my life!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize