hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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