we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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