Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
