I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
