The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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