I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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