I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Drunk is not a location!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
