Me too!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
