I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
