my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
