we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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