I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
