If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
