those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
