I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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