Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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