For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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