yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
