his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We had sex on a dog bed..
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
the raccoons are back...
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