Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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