Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I did not marry a roomba.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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