he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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