I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
