I just saw a hot homeless man
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
