This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He shit in the fireplace
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
