Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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