Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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