you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize