the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i believe in u and ur pee
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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