kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
