Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
