I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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