Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
