Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
