The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
