Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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