she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
