you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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