if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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