toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
