I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
