we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
