if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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