but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
