smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We got so high we made milksteak
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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