they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
