last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
