so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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