my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
