Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
