i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
