apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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