Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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