Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was confusing and full of hummus
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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