the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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