I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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