Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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