This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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